7 Days in November, Part 19 (Tuesday)

Bourbon lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He and Bryan spent the whole day together, getting some more of his stuff from the Tavlor’s house, and watching TV and playing video games. Now Bryan had disappeared, most likely off to his own house. Bourbon sighed and turned over on his side. He could smell Farly on his pillow and he cringed. He held his stomach. Farly walked to school again, and Bourbon was afraid to see how he made it back. It was all he could think about the whole day, even when Bryan was around. He wondered if Farly was thinking of him, and decided the answer would probably disappoint him.

Bourbon sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He sighed painfully and scrubbed his face. He was craving again, and he hated himself for it. He studied the floor in front of him and tried not to think about it. When the craving wouldn’t pass, he stood, his joints popping, pulled his coat off his chair, and headed for the deck outside.

The air outside stung Bourbon’s eyes. He pulled his hood up over his messy head-fur, trying to keep the cold out of his ears. He sat on the steps down to the yard and pulled a crumpled cigarette pak from his pocket. He lit the cigarette by feel, roboting the action he knew well enough, pulled a drag, and stared off at the houses around him. He scowled, holding the cigarette out in front of him. He didn’t like the taste so much, and it didn’t really keep him warm. This had been a simple enough complication before he met Ty and Farly. What you smoked said so much about you to everyone else, at least those who smoked, too. Well, it was supposed to. He never understood the filtered versus unfiltered bullshit; either way you were killing yourself, it’s just one way was faster than the other. He took another drag on the cigarette.

Someone exited through the back door. Bourbon didn’t look back, but listened to the footsteps coming up behind him. He stubbed the cigarette out quickly.

TJ sat down next to Bourbon. “You don’t have to hide that from me.” TJ talked in a relaxed, flat voice. Nothing ever seemed to surprise him, and no one ever said anything dumb to him, not the way he treated people. TJ was different, more different than a lot of people. He reminded Bourbon of that bartender from Star Trek. TJ was a listener, someone who carried years of knowledge and wisdom that didn’t belong to him, but was given to by people that instantly trusted him.

“I wasn’t trying to,” Bourbon said, narrowing his eyes at the back of a house across the common area. “I figured you wouldn’t like it.”

“I thought you quit.”

Bourbon rested his chin in his hands. “I did, but that party really fucked me up. I’ve been craving all week.”

TJ made an interested noise in his throat. Bourbon glanced over at him. He and Ty looked a lot alike, which made sense. Except, TJ was like an opposite of Ty. Where Ty was a fox with wolf coloring, TJ was a wolf with fox coloring. Short tail, smaller ears, but orange and white all over. Genetics was weird to Bourbon.

“How do you do it?” Bourbon asked, after a moment.

“What?”

“Get Ty and Farly to listen to you?”

“As a parent?”

Bourbon nodded.

TJ looked over the houses. He took a deep breath. “Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. I’m lucky enough to be in a position where they listen to me, so I did what I could to let them know what I expected of them.”

“But, I mean, like, what if they don’t get there, to those expectations.”

“Well, I can’t ground them, can I? I tried that a few years ago and it didn’t work. I can take away the Internet and the cable, but I know you guys. You’re resourceful. It’s a pain in the ass. It’s not that I’m not proud, it just makes things more difficult. There is, however, something to be said for the disapproval of an older brother.”

Bourbon nodded again. He allowed a smiled when TJ has said “resourceful.” There was plenty of approval in his voice. He sighed, folded his arms, and rested them on his knees. He started to think about Farly again. “What time is it?”

“About three thirty. Why?”

“Just waiting.” He sighed. “So why aren’t you out here bitching me out?”

TJ sat back. “I figured,” he said, letting his gaze drift up into the gray sky, “that you have gotten a lot of that in the past few days.”

Bourbon made a pained grunt. He rested his head on his arms.

“I will say,” TJ said, quieter, “that if you hurt Farly again, you’re out. That goes for Ty, too.”

Bourbon held his mouth shut. That was the meanest he’d ever heard TJ speak, and it was the same flat tone he always used. His ears dropped.

“Have you talked to him yet?”

Bourbon shook his head. “He hasn’t wanted to talk lately.”

“Well, now’s your chance.” TJ pointed to Farly’s window. The light was on inside.

“Yeah,” Bourbon said. He stood up and went inside. He padded down the hall until he was standing in front of Farly’s door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

There was no answer. Bourbon turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Farly sat on his bed, facing away from the door. He was playing his guitar, the one Jon gave him, the one Jon taught him on. He, sang just loud enough that Bourbon could hear him, and when he felt himself being watched, he stopped.

“That was really good,” Bourbon said. He stayed in the doorway.

“Thanks.”

“Can we-”

“Not right now.” He set his guitar down, but didn’t look at Bourbon.

Bourbon sighed. He left the doorway and headed downstairs. Ty was in the kitchen, another girl with her. It was Nexus, one of Jon’s friends from school. Well, aside from him and Farly, Nexus was Jon’s only other friend. Bourbon shrugged and went to his room.

Ty watched Bourbon disappear downstairs. She leaned against the kitchen counter, her arms folded over her chest. “I guess that’s a ‘no,’” she said.

Nexus looked over her shoulder. “You think they’re really broken up?”

“I’m beginning to wonder. Farly’s upset. Really upset.”

Ty looked around the room for a moment, trying to think of something else to say. Nexus wasn’t a regular. She was a school friend, as far as Ty could tell. It’s not that she wasn’t welcome, it’s just that Ty didn’t know much about her. Jon never said anything.

Nexus was nice, though. Pretty, too, but Ty pretended not to notice. She had longer headfur than Ty, down to her shoulders, and she seemed to pay more attention to her looks than the group was used to. She wore different clothes than the group did: a polo shirt, a size too small, her midriff showing, jeans from one of the big name stores in the mall, and shoes to match. This sat directly opposite of what Bryan called “mid-90s skater wannabe.” But she was very much like the group. Ty knew Nexus was like them, and she’d be one of them soon, if she hadn’t already crossed that line today.

“How’s your hand?” Ty asked. Nexus had a cold pack on her hand, occasionally taking it off and opening and closing her fingers.

“It hurts,” she said. She thought a moment. “I don’t, you know, usually do that. But they were all over him. I kinda just did what I had seen Jon do before. It usually just takes one person to get their attention, and then they leave.” She sighed. “He’ll be OK, though, right?”

Ty nodded. “This isn’t the first time.” That made her cringe. “I should go check on him. He wanted a few minutes before I did anything.”

Nexus nodded. She stood and put the cold pack back in the freezer. She started towards the front door.

“You don’t have to go,” Ty said.

“I should get home. Homework to do.”

Ty nodded. She followed Nexus to the door.

“He’ll be OK?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Ty said. “For doing that. And for bringing him home.” She unlocked the door. “If you ever need anything, come to us.” She paused, looking at the floor. She was blushing. She hugged Nexus.

Ty closed the door as Nexus’s SUV pulled out of the driveway. Ty leaned against the door, letting her head fall back. She closed her eyes. She was shaking. Jon had made Nexus sound great before, that she was strong, but also pretty, that she was smart and mature and not self-conscious or arrogant, and a genuinely nice person, and considerate, willing to defend a friend of a friend, and it occurred to Ty that Nexus was a kind of girl that never interacted with her, but should more often. She sighed, forcing the shaking to go away, and hoped Nexus would come over again. Standing up straight, she collected herself, and retrieved the first-aid kit from the kitchen. She went to Farly’s room.

He had lied down on the bed by the time she got there, his guitar next to him. Ty put the guitar on its stand and sat down next to him.

“Who did this?” She turned him so she could work on him. Farly sat up, but kept his eyes on the floor.

“…my fault.” He was talking so soft, Ty could barely make out what he was saying.

“No, it wasn’t. Who did this to you?” She dabbed antiseptic on a cut over Farly’s eye. Farly winced.

“I got Bourbon kicked out of his house, and Bryan’s fighting with his parents because of me.”

Ty shifted and applied a bandage over the cut. “Shut up. Seriously. You guys were going to get caught eventually. And Bryan’s fighting with is parents because he loves you, and he knows you’re better than who they think you are. He’s fighting for you.”

Farly closed his eyes. “It’s my fault Bourbon got drunk at the party.”

“No.”

“If he hadn’t got kicked out of the house, he wouldn’t have done that.”

Ty sat back and looked Farly over. “It was his mistake to make, not yours.”

Farly opened his eyes.

“Look,” Ty said, brushing the headfur away from Farly’s face, “you didn’t force anyone to do anything. Don’t blame yourself when you know it’s not your fault.”

Farly lowered his eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been hiding?”

“I guess.”

Ty put her arm around him and pulled him close, and the sat a moment together. Farly rested his head on her shoulder. It reminded him of middle school, the way she patched him up. She’d sit with him for hours, getting him to talk about everything that was hurting him. He’d talk all night, draining it all out, leaving him exhausted, but refreshed. He’d fallen asleep with her a few times before, and he felt that he owed her his life, though he never told her so much.

“Don’t forget,” Ty said softly, “that Bourbon’s agonizing about you. He loves you. He’d never tell you, but he knows all the good he’s done in the last few months is because of your relationship.”

Farly kissed Ty on the cheek. He hugged her tight, and closed his eyes, breathing slowly until the world became numb around him.